


Down the Winding River

by thornfield_girl



Series: Somehow, Someday [8]
Category: Justified
Genre: Baseball, Domestic, Handcuffs, Homophobia, M/M, Parents & Children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-17 02:58:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thornfield_girl/pseuds/thornfield_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raylan and Boyd deal with bigotry and a big decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Boyd got home later than usual, having gotten stuck behind an overturned 18- wheeler on the beltway. He walked into the living room of the modest, comfortable house he'd shared with Raylan and their son Andrew for nearly 9 years, to find them eating deli sandwiches in front of the television. They had the baseball on, Os vs. Red Sox at Fenway. 

Andrew was excited about baseball at the moment, in part because Raylan had volunteered to coach his Little League team. Boyd found it almost impossibly sexy to watch him teaching baseball. He was still in great shape at 49, and still gorgeous. Boyd would admit to some bias in this regard, but he had noticed that Andrew's team practices had a considerably higher proportion of moms in attendance than the other teams in the league.

Raylan turned when Boyd walked in, giving him a sympathetic grimace. "I guess you hit traffic, huh?" He stood up and walked over to give Boyd a kiss. "There's a pastrami sandwich in the bag for you. You want a drink? I was just gonna get me one anyway."

"Yes, please." He sat down next to Andrew, who had barely glanced up from the screen when he came in. "What's up, kid?"

Andrew gave Boyd a quick smile and said, "Hey," then went back to the game.

Boyd frowned a little. Something seemed off, despite the boy's smile. He kept his tone light, but said, "Seriously? You haven't seen me since you went to bed last night, and you're gonna grunt 'hey' at me when I walk in the door? If I'd done that to my daddy, he woulda kicked my ass."

"Sorry. Just watching the game."

"Hmm. It's 8 to 2 in the 8th inning. I can see why you're riveted."

Andrew looked at him again, and Boyd noticed, suddenly, how much he looked like Winona now. He didn't have nearly as much of Raylan in his features as he had seemed to when he was younger, but the expression on his face was all Raylan. 

Boyd started to say something, but Raylan brought him his drink just then, and he decided to save it for later. He ate his sandwich, drank the generously poured glass of Jim Beam and watched the rest of the game mostly in silence. 

When it was over, Andrew went to finish up some homework, and Raylan turned to lean against the end of the sofa, pulling Boyd over to lie back against his chest. He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy that for awhile, allowing the stress and frustrations of his day and the drive home to fall away. 

After maybe five minutes, he said, "You notice anything about Andrew?"

He felt Raylan shrug. "Little quiet, maybe. He say something to you?"

"Barely a word."

"Huh."

"I'll talk to him."

"Okay," Raylan replied. "Maybe he's got a crush on someone."

"He’s only 10. You think?"

"Can't really remember being that age. I think I was twelve when I had my first serious crush. Holly O'Reilly. Remember her? She moved in the 10th grade."

Boyd yawned. "Sorta. Black Irish type? Curly hair, blue eyes? Looked a little dangerous?"

Raylan laughed. "Right. She wouldn't give me the time of day."

"Hm. Maybe she didn't like boys. Can't think of another explanation." Boyd was grinning now, imagining Raylan actually being snubbed by someone, anyone. 

"Nah, I think she was seeing some older guy from Bennett. I always wondered if she got in a family way or something, and that's why she left. Anyway, fortunately my next big crush didn't turn me down. My confidence might have been seriously damaged." With that, he reached down for Boyd's left hand, the one with the plain gold band on it, and brought it to his lips for a kiss. 

Boyd smiled. That was all such a long time ago, and there was so much in between - so much sadness and anger, and so much they'd both had to figure out about themselves and each other. It had been a long time before he’d been able to think about those early days without feeling pangs of grief along with the sweetness of the memories, but now he felt at peace with them. 

Boyd was turning 50 in a little over a week. He wasn't upset by that - couldn't see any reason to be, as he had everything he could possibly want already - but it was a strange feeling anyway. Raylan had asked him to take a week off from work, and had been acting funny any time the subject came up, so he obviously had something planned. There was no question of a surprise party. Raylan would never do such a thing. Not only was it completely against his own nature, but he would certainly be aware that the retribution would be swift and harsh. 

After a little while, they got up, and Raylan started gathering up the trash from their supper. Boyd walked back to Andrew’s room and found him sitting at his desk, staring into space. He walked over and glanced at the math worksheet he had in front of him, only about half-finished. 

“You having trouble with that? I think I can remember third grade math well enough, if you need help.”

Andrew looked at him with some irritation and said, “No, I know how to do it.”

Boyd sighed. “I figured you did. You want to tell me what’s going on? It’s pretty obvious that something is. Your acting skills leave something to be desired.”

Andrew didn’t say anything, just looked down and fiddled with his pencil. Boyd sat still and waited him out, and finally the boy rolled his eyes and said, “You know my friend Colin?”

“Sure.”

He spoke very quickly, like he could hardly stand to be saying it. “Well... I asked him if he wanted to come over and play video games, and he said his parents wouldn’t let him come over here, because... you know... and then he said I could go over to his house instead, but I didn’t really want to anymore. I didn’t know they were like that.”

Boyd heard a noise at the door, and he looked up to see Raylan standing there. He had a stricken expression on his face, and Boyd knew he must have heard what his son said. Boyd felt bad about it too, but he also felt so proud of this kid. 

Boyd caught his eye and said, “Hey. It’s not Colin’s fault that his parents think that way. It’s not fair to hold it against him. Maybe you’ll be the reason he doesn’t end up thinking that way too.”

Andrew frowned, and shook his head hard. “It doesn’t seem right to go over there and let them act all nice to me when they think there’s something wrong with you and Dad.”

Raylan came into the room then and sat down on the edge of the bed. “You gotta do what you believe is right. But I agree with Boyd. He’s a kid, and he has no choice in who he gets as parents. Just like you, you know? Just like everybody. I wished a bunch of times I could have, when I was growing up, but we get what we get. Maybe you’ve wished that too, even though I know you love us. But it isn’t always easy when there’s something that sets you apart.”

Boyd grinned and said, “All that said, you have my permission to speak your mind to them, if you see fit. As long as you’re respectful,” he added, with a stern look. “It’s not your job to defend us, but where your dad and I come from, we’re not in the habit of taking shit from anyone about our families.”

Raylan gave him an exasperated look and said, “Boyd...”

“What? He’s got his pride too, I’m not gonna tell him to hide it. Are you?”

Raylan sighed, shrugged and said, “No. But be respectful, yeah. Polite. They’re entitled to their beliefs.”

Andrew made a frustrated sound and said, “Why are people entitled to beliefs that are wrong and mean?” 

Boyd snorted and said, “Well, it’s more like you can’t force them to change. You just keep showing them what a good kid you are, and maybe they’ll figure out we didn’t do anything to screw you up too bad. _Maybe_ they’ll make that connection. Probably not, but that’s their problem. They can’t make it yours unless you let them.” 

Raylan said, “Sometimes people only believe something because that’s what they were taught, and no one ever showed ‘em different. But sometimes, they got people pouring poison into their ears for reasons of their own, making them fear whatever’s unfamiliar. You could choose to feel sorry for them, instead of hating them, ‘cause they’re the ones being fooled.”

Boyd glanced sharply at Raylan. He hadn’t made any kind of reference to Boyd’s dark past for a long time, and he couldn’t tell if he was doing that now. When Raylan looked back at him, he seemed to realize what he’d said, and looked an apology at him, shaking his head slightly.

Andrew seemed to be feeling better about everything, so they left him to finish his math and to give the matter as much thought as he needed to. Raylan reminded him to brush his teeth and turn the lights out by 9. Boyd finally went to take a shower, which he’d been sorely needing since he’d gotten home, while Raylan fetched fresh drinks for them and brought them into the bedroom. 

Boyd emerged from the bathroom, towel wrapped around his still-slim waist, feeling refreshed and fairly relaxed. He pulled some cotton pajama bottoms from a drawer and pulled them on. Raylan was watching him from where he sat, reclined against the headboard. Boyd didn’t mind. He’d figured out a long time before that Raylan couldn’t resist him, and he knew he still looked good - a benefit of working a manual labor job, even though he’d graduated to a more managerial role in the last several years. He still had his hand in at every job, because he liked it, and because he didn’t necessarily trust anyone else to do the shit right on their own. 

He sat down on the bed next to Raylan and sipped at his drink. Raylan tugged on his arm until he put the glass down and leaned over to kiss him. “Shouldn’t we wait until after he’s asleep?”

“Not for this. Come here, damn it.”

Boyd slid over and wrapped himself up with Raylan, sighing and pressing himself close. Raylan kissed him a few times, but Boyd thought he seemed a little off. “What’s wrong?” he said, rubbing Raylan’s arm a little.

“Ah... just some misplaced guilt, I guess.”

“About Andrew?”

“I hate that he has to take shit for us like that.”

Boyd pulled away and propped himself on his elbow. He looked at Raylan and said in a firm voice, “Raylan, that kid is just fine. He knows his own mind, and the difference between right and wrong, and he’s strong. And there’s just no point in indulging those kinds of feelings, you know that. There’s no alternative that would make any of us happier than we are right now. Which is pretty goddamn happy, right?”

Raylan put his hands up in surrender. “Yeah, Boyd. I know. Of course there’s no alternative, and I’m not looking for one. Shit. You know that, you don’t really need me to tell you, do you?”

“No. But that don’t mean I don’t like to hear it once in awhile anyway.”

“Jesus Christ, I thought when I married a guy I was gonna be spared such bullshit,” Raylan said, smirking at Boyd and daring him to get pissed off.

“Fuck you, Raylan.”

“Oh yeah? I thought maybe I’d fuck you instead.”

“Only if you tell me how much you love me first.” Boyd didn’t know why he suddenly felt irritated with this conversation. He didn’t have any of these doubts, in reality, and he understood why Raylan would be feeling defensive about it.

“I’d tell you twenty times a day if I thought you really wanted me to." He reached for Boyd's shoulder and rubbed his hand over it. "Come on, Boyd. Quit it. You know how much I love you.”

Boyd dropped his head and sighed in frustration, mostly with himself. “I do, yeah. I really do. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe I’m more bothered than I’d like to be about that kid’s asshole parents, too.”

"I know the dad. He's one of those sports parents who won't shut the fuck up during a game. His kid's not on Andrew's team, but I've seen him. Maybe I should talk to him."

"And say what?  'I hear you you don't like fags, but I promise, we won't rape your kid. Pinky swear.'"

"Maybe he's just not sure because he's never met us."

"Yeah. Maybe. It can't hurt, I guess. But..." Boyd fixed Raylan with a serious glare, and said, "Be respectful."

Raylan grinned at him and said, "Of course. I'll treat him as I would my own father."

"Dear lord, don't do that!" Boyd was laughing now, and he felt much better. Raylan had gotten so much better at this shit than he'd once been. They both had. A spat like this, back in the beginning, would have gotten out of hand and had them pissed off for an hour, minimum. He knelt up and pushed Raylan back playfully, then held him down as he straddled his thighs.

"Well, come on, darlin'. What you waitin' for?"

Raylan reached up and pulled Boyd over by the waist. Boyd let himself be taken down without a fight, and Raylan had rolled over on top of him in the space of a second. 

"I told you," Raylan panted. Boyd finished the sentence along with him. "Don't call me darlin'."

They both grinned at their old joke, because in truth they'd both called each other that and many other pet names over the years. Most of the time it was to make the other one laugh, and all of the time it was filled with affection. This was the first one, the one Boyd had used on their trip to Michigan after they'd gotten married, and Raylan loved it more than he would ever admit to Boyd.

They fooled around for awhile, being quiet. When they heard the water running in the hallway bathroom, then Andrew's door closing, Raylan's grin grew wide, and he made good on his earlier words. 

Towards the end, his man leaned down to speak low into his ear. He said, " You make me so happy," which Boyd thought was far better than just, "I love you." Raylan kissed him then, and touched him just the way that he liked, and Boyd came just before he did. 

They stayed in bed and watched MSNBC for awhile before turning out the lights. Raylan never failed to give him a ridiculous amount of shit about what he believed was Boyd's massive crush on Rachel Maddow. He'd deny it to his grave, but in all honesty, he did think she was pretty cute. In any case, he never turned it off, no matter how much teasing he had to endure. 

Of course, he couldn't help thinking that if they were choosing their news source based on their taste in female hosts, he was never letting Raylan pick. They'd be stuck with Fox News forever.

At Andrew's next baseball game, Boyd came along early with them to help haul gear and check out the field. As they passed the bleachers two fields down from where their team was playing, they saw Colin and his father having a catch and practicing a bit of fielding before the rest of the team showed up. Andrew waved to his friend, and Colin waved back. The dad nodded at them and then went back to tossing ground balls at his son. 

Boyd sat in the stands and chatted with the other parents, keeping his attention divided between his kid and Raylan. Boyd could see that he was a good coach, which didn't surprise him at all, based on how he was with Andrew. 

Just behind Boyd were two women he'd known for a couple years. One of them, Patty, lived in their neighborhood, a few houses down. She was divorced from Jeff, who was sitting to the left of Boyd. They had a friendly enough, though competitive and occasionally contentious, relationship. He and Raylan had had them over to dinner once, and had been to cookouts at Patty's house, to which Jeff was always invited. 

Sitting next to her was Ginny, who Boyd only knew slightly, from Andrew being in her daughter's class for the last two years. Her daughter Alicia was one of the few remaining girls in the so-called co-ed league. By this age, most of them were either too self-conscious, had lost interest, or couldn't keep up athletically. She was the team's best pitcher, which at this age was an exercise in relativity. 

The two women were sharing a Thermos of wine, and towards the end of the game were getting just a little bit giggly. Boyd felt a hand on his shoulder and Ginny leaned forward to say something in a low voice to him. 

"Alicia just loves Raylan. Her coach last year treated her like a charity case because she was the only girl."

Boyd smiled at her and said, "She's got a pretty good arm."

"I'll tell her you said so. Anyway, I think he's just wonderful."

Patty cackled and said, "Yeah, me too. Wonderful."

Jeff snorted and said, "Yeah, Boyd. Tell him she thinks he's wonderful. You could also mention the enormous crush she has on him, although I doubt he's so oblivious he hasn't already noticed."

Boyd laughed and said, "Raylan just assumes everyone has a crush on him, until proven otherwise."

"I guess I should be grateful he's gay, so I don't have to compete with him. Dating sucks enough at our age as it is."

"I hate to disillusion you, but as it happens, Raylan is a fan of the ladies as well. But don't worry, as far as I know, he ain't lookin'. Well, not actively, anyway." 

"Jesus. Well, then I guess I'll thank you for keeping him out of the dating pool."

"I try to do my part, Jeff."

Boyd accepted a paper cup of cheap white wine from the ladies and drank it slowly as he sat through the seemingly interminable game. When it was finally over - their team had won 10-8 - Boyd walked over to help get everything picked up. Raylan kept glancing over to where Colin and his father were standing, the man speaking intensely to the coach of that team. He wasn't yelling, but he was standing a little too close, and his body language read hostile. 

Raylan shook his head and said, “I guess tonight’s not the night to try to have that conversation.”

Boyd didn’t really think there was any real point to it, anytime, but Raylan was certainly correct. Approaching him now would be a bad idea. Although, if he got any further up in the other guy’s face, Raylan might feel obligated to go over there anyway. Boyd hurried up getting everything together, then they headed back towards the car. As they passed, Boyd glanced over as discreetly as possible and saw that the situation didn’t seem to have progressed any. He hoped Raylan would be able to leave it alone. He heard him give an irritated huff, but he kept walking. 

The following Monday, Boyd came home to find Raylan alone in the house.

"Where's Andrew?" he asked, after kissing him hello. 

Raylan raised his eyebrows and said, "He's at Colin's. He's invited for supper. I said I'd pick him up at 7."

"Okay... you want to go out for something, then? We got time."

"Sure, if you feel like it. I could eat a steak."

"We can pick him up on the way home."

Raylan nodded, and Boyd knew he was thinking about the reaction of the kid's parents when they both showed up at the door. Boyd was looking forward to it. 

By the time they'd finished eating, they had to rush to pick up Andrew on time. Raylan rang the doorbell and Boyd hung back slightly. 

An attractive woman in her early 40s answered, looking supremely uncomfortable. She gave them one of the phoniest smiles Boyd had ever seen in his life, and said, "Hey there. I'm Amy. Andrew is just putting his shoes on, he'll be right out. Would you like to come in?"

They did, and after introductions, the three of them made awkward small talk about the boys' teacher, and Little League. She had a non-local accent, southern, but not southeastern, nor Appalachian like his and Raylan's. Boyd thought Texas, maybe, or Oklahoma. He considered asking, but thought he'd save it, in case they had to do this again some time.

Andrew came into the living room after a couple minutes, followed by Colin's father, whose name Raylan had said was Roger. Boyd thought the name suited him perfectly. 

The man walked over and introduced himself, shaking both of their hands maybe a bit harder than strictly necessary. Boyd realized how tricky this whole situation was going to be. He could see that this guy wasn't about to admit to any bigotry. He would act as if there was  
no problem at all, but still never allow his son to visit their home. 

Andrew came over to stand in between Raylan and Boyd, and Raylan prompted him to thank Colin's parents for dinner. They said goodbye and went to the door, and as they were leaving, Roger clapped Andrew on the back and said, "You're welcome here anytime, like I told you."

Andrew's face was blank, but Boyd could see the anger in his eyes. It was Raylan again, and Boyd wouldn't have been surprised to see his  
jaw muscles working. He glanced at Raylan, who was ushering the boy outside as quickly as possible. 

When they go into the car, Raylan turned around to the back seat and said, "Okay, what was that all about?"

It seemed that Andrew had just been waiting to be asked, because as they drove away, he unleashed a furious torrent of words about his friend's father. 

"He said he was sure it must be hard for me at school! He said that if I ever felt uncomfortable at home I could go over there even if I wasn't invited! I didn't say anything to him about anything, he just started talking to me and said all this stupid stuff! I hate him. I'm not going over there again."

Boyd was pissed off now, and he could see that Raylan was too. He knew Raylan would be thinking of turning the car around and having that conversation tonight, and Boyd didn't think he'd stop him if he did.

"Andrew," Raylan said, in an impressively calm voice, "How did you answer him?"

"I said everything was fine at school and at home."

"Okay. Anything else that I need to know, before I go talk to him? Because that's happening tonight."

"Really? What are you going to tell him?"

"That's an adult conversation that you don't need to know about."

"But it's about me!" The boy was practically bouncing up and down with indignation.

"No, it's not. It's about Boyd and me. I just need to have as much information as I can before I do this."

"I didn't say anything else, I just kept telling him that things were fine. Which they _are._ No one at school ever says anything anymore."

Boyd started at that and said, "Anymore? You never said anything about that."

"It's no big deal. It's not. I don't care."

Raylan was rubbing at his forehead, and Boyd looked at Andrew, not really sure how to respond. He didn't want to apologize, because he wasn't sorry for being with Raylan. He knew the boy wasn't looking for that anyway, would probably hate it if he did. 

Finally, he sighed and said, "Well, it could be worse. We could be vegetarians."

Raylan snorted a laugh, but Andrew kept looking out the window with a stubborn expression on his face. He said, "I said it was no big deal. You don't believe me either?"

"I believe you, kid," Boyd replied, "but that don't mean we're not gonna feel guilty about it."

Raylan said, "You might think you need to protect us from things people say, but you don't. Whatever you hear, I guarantee we've heard worse. None of that shit matters to us, I promise you. What does matter is what you think, and how you feel about it. You say you're fine, and I'm sure you are. But that doesn't mean you won't hear things that bother you, or that you don't understand. You have to promise you're gonna let us know if that happens."

"Okay."

"Okay, then." Raylan pulled into the driveway of their house and parked. "I don't think I'll be long."

Boyd said, "You sure you want to do this tonight? You're pretty pissed."

"You would really ask me that, all the time we've known each other?"

"You gonna make this worse than it already is?"

"Now that, I don't blame you for asking. Don't worry, though, I got this."

Boyd kept the rest of his reservations to himself, and went inside with Andrew. There was no point in arguing with Raylan - he was going to do whatever he thought he needed to, anyway. 

Raylan didn't come back until the boy was in bed, and it didn't take more than a quick glance at his face to know it hadn't gone well.

Raylan came over and sat down heavily on the couch next to Boyd. He let himself fall over into Boyd's lap, and groaned. His words were muffled by denim, but Boyd was able to make out the phrase, "should have listened to you..." 

Ordinarily, those words would give Boyd a great deal of satisfaction, but he didn't like hearing them now. "What happened?"

Raylan turned over onto his back, keeping his head resting on Boyd's leg. 

"It started out pretty good, but he's fucking infuriating. I got so mad. And he's an asshole to his wife too - every time she started to talk, he cut her off. She kept trying to smooth shit over, and he wasn't having it. Course, neither was I."

"Tell me, Raylan. Come on."

"I told him I'd appreciate it if he'd stop telling my son he's got things to feel bad about. Said Andrew was quite capable of knowing when he was unhappy, and he knows he can talk to me or you about it."

"Well, that sounds okay." Boyd stroked his fingers through Raylan's soft gray hair.

"Yeah. Then he said that he was concerned that Andrew didn't have an adult to confide in about any _discomfort_ he might feel in our home."

"What the fuck?" Boyd pulled his hand from Raylan's head and sat up straight.

"That ain't even the worst of it. Then he says, he's not so much concerned about me, since I'm his biological father - which information I guess he got out of Andrew - but that I'm exposing him to - "

Boyd, eyes had gone wide and he cut in sharply, saying, "Oh Raylan, please tell me this didn't end with you hauling off and punching him. Because I would truly hate to have missed it."

Raylan smiled up at him, and Boyd returned to the task of stroking his hair. "No, I didn't do that, tempting as it was. But I did tell him that he was a homophobic asshole and that I no longer felt comfortable having my son unaccompanied at his house."

"Shit."

"Which isn't true. I hate him being over there, but I ain't really worried about it. Like you said before, he knows his own mind. I feel like I really fucked things up for him now. All because some dickhead has a problem with who I love. It was selfish, and goddamn stupid. I should be over that shit, right?"

"Raylan, there is no one in the world who wouldn't lose it over something like that. You're not to blame."

"Really?" Raylan was frowning up at him like he wanted to be reassured. 

"Well, I'm gonna choose to take it as you defending my honor."

"I haven't always done that. One time Winona called you a hillbilly, coal mining, neo-Nazi criminal. Or something like that. I just said, 'uh huh, well be that as it may...'"

Boyd grinned down at him, with a familiar glint of danger in his eye, and said, "Well Raylan, I don't expect you to lie for me."

Raylan reached up and put a hand to his cheek and said softly, "I know who you are, Boyd Crowder."

"Oh, I know you do. And you love me anyway."

"Well, you do me the same courtesy."

Boyd nodded slowly. After a moment, he said, "I'm gonna go over there tomorrow. Do you know if Amy works?"

"No, but if I had to guess..."

"Right. Well, I'm gonna leave work early and see if I can catch her alone."

"For all we know, she's just as bad."

Boyd shrugged. "Guess I'll find out."

"Well, I won't try to stop you. Can't see how you could make it worse, anyway."

Boyd licked his lower lip and said, "Hey, you know what I'm in the mood for?" 

Raylan raised an eyebrow and replied, "I can't imagine."

"Some super gay shit that would be completely inappropriate for a pre-teen boy to witness."

"Yeah... I think the antique stores are all closed this time of night." Raylan's face was full of false regret, and Boyd grinned and shook his head at him. 

"That's a damn shame. Guess I'll have to get creative."

Just as he was leaning down to kiss him, he heard Andrew come out of his room and walk down the hall towards the living room.

He came into the room, blinking at the light, and Raylan sat up to look at him. "Hey. What are you doing up? It's late."

"I heard you come in. Why did you take so long?"

"I drove around for awhile after I talked to your friend's dad."

"Why?"

"I'm afraid I lost my temper. I needed to calm down before I came home."

Andrew walked over and sat down between them on the couch. "What happened?"

"Son, this is not the time to discuss this. We've got more talking to do with his parents, and I'd rather wait until things are resolved."

“Dad, that’s not fair - “

“We can talk more tomorrow. Get to bed now, please.”

Andrew huffed, stood and stalked down the hallway. Just before he slammed the door, Raylan called out, “‘Night!” 

Boyd sighed, thinking that might have killed the mood, but Raylan surprised him by crawling into his lap, facing him, and giving him an exceptionally sweet kiss. Boyd reached up to stroke his cheek, and Raylan kept kissing him. 

He seemed more intense, more emotional, than he normally did when they were fooling around. Not that he was ever distant, but it was rare for him to be this focused on Boyd. It happened every now and then - after they'd had a fight, or had been apart for a few days, and most memorably after Ava's wedding. Boyd loved it, but also felt a bit concerned. 

"You okay?" he asked, when the man had let up from his mouth a bit. 

"I'm fine. I just... really love you very much. I can't imagine my life without you. I never thought... I tried so hard to be happy without you. To be happy with Winona, to live that kind of life like I thought I should. It was never right with her. I don't know if it's because I didn't like women as much as I'd convinced myself I did, or just because she wasn't you. I wasted so much time for so long on what I thought other people expected of me, instead of being true to myself."

"I know all this, Raylan. Why are you thinking about it now? Because of those stupid people?"

"Boyd... I need to tell you something. I was going to wait, but I feel like I need to talk about it now."

"Well, I'm guessing you're not about to ask for a divorce, since you just proclaimed your undying love for me, so go on." He winked, and said "Shoot."

Raylan raised his eyebrows at that. It was Boyd's little joke, one Raylan could never make, and he really didn't much care for it when Boyd did either. But he was the one with the scar, so it was his prerogative. 

"Rachel Brooks called me last week."

"Oh yeah? What did she want?"

"Seems Art is retiring, and she's getting his job."

"Oh yeah? Well, that makes sense. She knows what she's doing..." Boyd trailed off as understanding dawned. "Raylan. Is this what I think it is?"

"It's just talk right now. I'd never agree to anything without you. And I don't even know if I want that myself. And there's Andrew to think about."

"Yeah... I don't know. We'd be in Lexington, though. Not Harlan. That could be okay for him. And we could see more of Ava and Kenny, and get to know their kids better."

"Sounds like your vote's accounted for."

Boyd shut up then, realizing how that must have sounded. He didn't want Raylan to think he'd been pining away for Kentucky all this time. In reality, he was happy where they were, and he'd miss it if they did move. But once the possibility had been floated, he knew how much he really did want this. 

"I can't believe she wants you anyway, Raylan. Weren't you a bit of a thorn in her side at times?"

"She got irked with me from time to time, but she never hesitated to ask me along on trips out to the hollers, I can tell you that."

"I remember," Boyd said softly, suddenly wondering if this would be a dangerous thing for the two of them. Not that Boyd had any criminal ties anymore, obviously, but it could end up being a bit fraught. Visiting was a different thing than trying to live and work there, even up in Lexington. It would be weird.

Raylan stood up and reached a hand down to Boyd. "Let's go to bed, Boyd. Did you think of what you want to do, by the way? You know, since America's Next Top Model ain't on?"

"God, you're an asshole," Boyd replied, but he took Raylan’s hand anyway.

"Well, how 'bout you let me blow you so I can make up for it?"

"You wounded me deeply, Raylan, and now you expect me to allow you the pleasure of sucking my dick? You got a lot of nerve, son."

They got up and walked quietly down the hallway, past Andrew's room, both of them stifling laughter. It had been a strange day.

 

Boyd called Amy the next morning at around 10am. He put on as much charm as he could manage, and asked if she would meet him for coffee in the afternoon. She sounded very uneasy, but eventually agreed to meet him at a Starbucks on Rte. 50, not strictly in their neighborhood. 

She was already there when Boyd arrived, ten minutes early. She was sitting in the back of the store with an iced latte or some such thing in front of her. She was fiddling with the straw.

Boyd bought a coffee and sat down across from her. He smiled at her, and started talking. "Raylan told me what happened last night. He very much regretted losing his temper, and he doesn't want to interfere in the boys' friendship. We both think it's fine for Andrew to visit Colin at your house, if that's what you're comfortable with."

"I'm _really_ sorry for Roger. He has... some strong feelings that I don't necessarily agree with. Please tell Raylan that."

Boyd looked at her, not really sure how to respond. It made him angry that she would just roll over like that, and couldn't really understand staying with someone who was clearly a controlling shit. Then he thought of Raylan's mother, and Boyd knew he'd want him to be nice to this woman. 

"I'll tell him. I don't suppose there's any chance of you bringing him around on this?"

"His brother is gay," she said flatly. "He doesn't even want a relationship with him. They see each other maybe once a year at his parents' house for Thanksgiving, and he barely speaks to him. I'm not sure I've ever heard him say a word to Don's partner. So no, I don't think so. If you thought you and Raylan, nice people and good parents that you seem to be, were going to be the ones to convince him to change his mind, give up now."

Boyd nodded and sipped at his coffee. "You seem like a nice woman. What are you doing with someone like that?"

She looked down and shook her head, and Boyd realized that he'd made a mistake. He'd misread her. She'd admit to a disagreement with her husband on this issue, maybe, but she wasn't ready to admit to anyone else that she might be unhappy, or that she was married to a prick. 

"I'm sorry," he said. "I should mind my own business. I have no idea about your marriage."

She didn’t answer, just kept looking down and running her finger through the condensation on her cup. 

“So, can I ask where you’re from? I hear your accent but I can’t place it.”

“Oh, I’m from San Antonio, Texas. We moved here about five years ago when Roger got a job offer.”

“You miss it?”

“Mostly I miss my family. I have three sisters, and I only get to see them a few times a year. Roger doesn’t really get it, since his dad was in the Army and they moved around all the time.”

“I’m sorry, I know that must be tough.”

“Sounds like you’re not from around here either.”

“No, Raylan and I both grew up in Harlan County, Kentucky.”

“Harlan?” She suddenly smiled, and Boyd realized she was actually very pretty. He hadn’t noticed before - she seemed like the kind of person who tried not to make much of an impression one way or another. “That place is in, like, every other bluegrass song.”

Boyd laughed. “You like bluegrass?”

“My dad did, so we listened to it in the house a lot. My mother hated it though - she said it didn’t sound right, when all that you could see was Texas all around you. I never understood that, but she was from West Virginia. I think it probably made her sad, though she never said.”

“You’re probably right. I still like listening to it, even so. Of course, we do spend time back home in the summer every year. We renovated Raylan’s late father’s house a few years back.”

“So, you’ve known each other since you were kids?”

“Well... yes and no. We went to school together, then worked in the mine together for a bit. We fell in love. Then we didn’t see each other for twenty years. Raylan left Harlan for college, and didn’t come back until his job sent him there.”

“And then, you fell in love again?”

“There was some conflict between us in the beginning. And we were both seeing other people. That’s how we got Andrew.”

“Oh! Oh... is his mother...”

“She passed away when he was an infant. I’ve been raising him with Raylan since he was six months old. He’s no different to me than if I’d made him.”

“I know that. I’m so sorry about... I don’t know what to say.”

“Okay. Well, an apology isn’t really necessary - not from you, anyway - and it’s not what we care about. I wanted to meet with you because of Andrew. He’s angry, and he’s hurt.”

“He’s welcome in our house anytime. I wish... I-"

“I know. That’s not the issue. Your son, your business. Andrew was bothered by it, but we told him it was up to him whether to spend time at your house or not. Look, Raylan and I were both raised to keep secrets. We decided a long time ago that was no way to live. But we never lost the habit of keeping personal things private, whenever possible. We always told Andrew that it was his choice, whether to talk about us or not. We always told him that we didn’t need for him to stick up for us - it’s our job to stick up for him.”

Boyd paused for a few seconds, smiled, and continued. “Thing is, it turns out the kid loves us. We’re his family. So he naturally feels protective of us. And he’s proud of us. He’s grown up believing his daddy’s out there saving the world from bad guys, like a damn superhero. So when someone comes along and suggests - however obliquely - that something harmful is going on in his own home, where he has always felt safe and loved... well, it’s hard for him to understand. He has no idea how to respond to it. Particularly since he's been taught to be polite to adults."

Amy looked on the verge of tears, and she nodded quickly. “I’ll talk to Roger.”

"I'd appreciate it. I'm sorry if this has made things difficult for you at home."

"Oh no, this is... It'll be fine."

 

Later on, Boyd told a well- edited version of the story to Raylan and Andrew over dinner, and said that he hoped Andrew wouldn't give up on his friend so easily. 

"Shoot, if your dad and I had picked our friends based on their daddies, neither one of us would've gone near the other," he said, glancing at Raylan, who was chewing his pasta with a wry expression on his face. 

"I don't want to date him, I just want to play XBox."

Raylan snorted. "Friendship is just as important as anything else. Don't ever throw it away in favor of... other things."

"You mean sex."

"I mean romantic love. That only lasts if you actually like the person, anyway. You always have to be friends."

“I’m pretty sure I just like girls.”

Raylan grinned - they’d had this conversation before. “So you’ve said. Don’t worry, we’re open-minded parents. But you know, you gotta be friends with them, too.”

Andrew rolled his eyes - just general disdain for adult advice, Boyd assumed - and asked to be excused from the table. 

After he’d gone, Raylan turned to Boyd and asked, “So was there anything you left out about your little meeting?”

“Not anything real important. Turns out Roger has some issues - big shock, I know. He’s got a gay brother he doesn’t speak to. She’s homesick for Texas, and he thinks she’s being a child about it. They’re unhappy.” Boyd shrugged. “She pretty much confirmed what we already thought. She said she’d talk to him about how he talks to Andrew, but I wouldn’t hope for much. I almost wanted to tell her not to bother. I was a little bit... concerned about it, honestly.”

“You think he hits her?” Raylan’s face had started to take on a dangerous cast, and Boyd quickly shook his head. 

“No,” he said quickly, “just that I was afraid it would make things more tense in their house. But that's not really our problem."

"Nope."

Raylan got up to clear the table, and Boyd thought he looked distracted. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Raylan replied. 

"Raylan." Boyd didn't speak more loudly than before, and the change in his tone was so subtle that most people wouldn't have noticed it. But it snapped Raylan right out of his fog, and he looked at Boyd.

"I'm sorry. I just can't stop thinking about the Lexington job. I don't know what to do about it."

"Do you want it? With nothing else to consider, would you want to take it?"

Raylan didn't speak for a minute or so, started rinsing dishes, and Boyd left him alone. Finally, he said, "Yeah. And ain't that fucking crazy? I actually want to go back to Kentucky."

"It's not crazy. Not to me, even knowing how you've felt about it in the past. It's our home, Raylan. You know it is. It's where we started."

"And where we ended. That place broke us twice, Boyd."

"We're not broken," Boyd said softly, as he came up beside Raylan at the sink and put a hand on his back. "And it's different now. We were afraid then, and hiding."

"I know. I think I'm a little superstitious about it, truth be told." Raylan rinsed the last dish and put it in the dishwasher, then turned to Boyd.

"I get that," Boyd said, "Look, I'm not gonna pressure you into it. I'm happy here. I don't care that much where we live, Raylan. My home is wherever you are."

"But you want me to take this."

"Yes, I do." 

Raylan smiled at him, but said, "What about Andrew? He's happy here. It'll disrupt his life."

"That's true. But he'll also be closer to his cousins." They'd always considered Ava's kids as such. 

"Yeah, but they're younger than him. He'll have to make all new friends in school, and explain to a whole new group of kids about his two dads. In Kentucky, no less."

"We could always ask him what he thinks of the idea."

"But then if he said no, we'd be stuck."

"Let's just talk to him, then. Let him know we're thinking about it."

Raylan nodded and said, "Okay."

"Let's do it, then. Come on." Boyd took his hand and started to pull him towards the hallway.

"Now?"

"What's the point of waiting? It's obviously weighing on you, so let's figure it out." He stopped and put his hands on Raylan's shoulders. "This isn't all on you, Raylan."

Raylan pulled him close and kissed him, then leaned his forehead into Boyd's. "I always forget that," he said. 

"I know you do. But I'll always be here to remind you. Come on, now." Boyd walked down the hall and knocked on Andrew's door. Raylan sighed and followed him. 

Andrew said to come in, but looked surprised and not too pleased to see that it was both of them. Boyd suppressed a grin, because of course that would look like bad news. 

Andrew was sitting on his bed with a Percy Jackson book on his lap, and Boyd came over to sit near him. Raylan sat on the desk chair, facing him.

Andrew raised his eyebrows and said, "What? Are we moving or are you getting a divorce?" He spoke in a voice that was probably supposed to sound cynical and uncaring, but there was real anxiety behind them.

Raylan had opened his mouth to speak, and he snapped it shut. He looked at Boyd, as if he’d know just what to say here. Boyd often loved, but sometimes hated that about their relationship. Raylan always thought he knew everything when it came to this shit. He knew that was no one’s fault but his own, though. 

Boyd smiled and said, "Well, neither one is for certain right now, though if your dad don't quit leaving his wet towels on the bathroom floor, we might be having another conversation soon."

Andrew rolled his eyes and said, "So, we're moving."

Raylan leaned forward and forced the boy to make eye contact with him. "You're pretty good. Sometimes I think maybe Boyd's your real father," he said, winking at him. "But we don't know anything for sure right now. I got a job offer, and we're talking about me maybe taking it."

"Where?"

"Lexington, Kentucky."

Andrew was quiet for a moment, then said, "Oh." 

Boyd tilted his head to look at his face and asked, “Is that a good oh, or a bad oh?”

“I don’t know yet.” Andrew looked at him like he was daring him to ask more questions, and it was such a Raylan look that Boyd almost laughed. 

“Okay, kid. I know what that look means, we’ll get out of here. You come talk to us when you’re ready.” Boyd patted him on the leg and got up. 

Raylan frowned at him for a second and then said, "We'll talk soon." He kissed Andrew on the top of his head and they left the room. 

They hadn't yet revisited the topic a week later, when they boarded a plane to Kentucky. Boyd figured Raylan would want to make a decision before they left Harlan, so they could tell people, and understood that this had been the reason for Raylan's weirdness and secrecy about the trip. He wondered if Raylan would ever realize how much easier things seem once you tell someone else about them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys celebrate Boyd's birthday, and reacquaint themselves with Harlan.

They flew into Lexington in the late morning and rented a car. Andrew had still not asked any questions or brought up the possible move, and Raylan knew he was going to have to make the decision over the course of this week - the earlier the better, so maybe they could relax about it and enjoy their vacation. 

Boyd was driving, his elbow hanging out of the open window. He hated air conditioning, and Raylan had long since given up complaining. The driver got to decide about that and the music, which at the present time was George Jones. Raylan was fine with that. But he was also sweating, and annoyed that he'd lost the coin toss.

By the time they reached the house in Harlan - Raylan still usually thought of it as "Arlo's house," but he never said it out loud anymore; it wasn't worth the talking-to from Boyd - he felt grimy, and like there was a coating of road dust on the inside of his nose. As soon as they had the luggage inside, Raylan said, "You call Ava, I'm going to get a shower." He started to walk away.

"Yes sir," Boyd said mildly, smirking. 

Raylan stopped, turned around and rolled his eyes. "I'm a little tense, Boyd. And I feel like I got half the dirt in Harlan sticking to me. I'm sorry I didn't get down on my goddamn knees and beg you to-"

He stopped when he heard Andrew coming back down from his room after putting away his suitcase. The boy walked past them on his way out the door and said, "You're being kind of a dick, dad."

"Hey, mind your manners, boy!" Raylan called after Andrew as the screen door slammed behind him. 

Boyd snorted. "Can you imagine the apocalypse that would have ensued if we'd said something like that to our daddies at that age?"

Raylan's mouth twisted up and he said, "Well. We would have been right, and I guess he is too. I'm sorry, darlin'."

"I'll find a way to repair my shattered feelings, Raylan. Go get your shower and I'll call Ava."

By the time he got out of the shower, Boyd had made the call and was putting their clothes into the dresser. They mostly shared their clothes these days, which in the beginning, Raylan had gotten a weird sort of thrill from. He'd walk around all day in something that had belonged to Boyd, and be so charged up that he'd be ready to jump him the second he came through the door. Or he'd see Boyd in a pair of his jeans and his face would get hot. 

That hadn't happened in a long time. Partly it was just the novelty having worn off, and partly that they pretty much bought clothes to share now - though they somehow ended up looking completely different in them. Still, the sight of Boyd unpacking their stuff and putting it away, all together, made him real happy.

Boyd looked up and saw him smiling, and said, "What's up?"

Raylan shrugged, then walked over and kissed him, taking Boyd's face in his hands and stroking his cheek. "Love you." 

Boyd tilted his head and smiled in an affectionately amused manner. "Love you too, honey. Hey, soon as we get ready we're supposed to head over there."

"Alright," Raylan said, feeling a bit reluctant now. "I guess you should get in the shower."

Reading him as always, Boyd said, "You ain't dressed yet. Nothing to stop you from joining me." He tugged lightly at the towel, where it was wrapped around his waist. 

"Andrew?"

"He's outside. And anyway, we're just showering," Boyd said, looking at Raylan with a challenge in his eye. "He won't ask questions."

"Mmmm. That's true," Raylan replies. "He'll probably stay outside and wait for us just to avoid the possibility. Poor kid. Most parents have stopped fucking by the time the kid hits double digits." 

He pulled Boyd in by the hips and kissed him again, pressing their bodies together so Boyd could feel the evidence of his desire. "You sure you ain't too old for afternoon quickies? It is your fiftieth birthday, lest you think I forgot."

"Best make it a happy one then, _Raylan_ ," he said, rolling the name around in his mouth like he used to do, when they were still new, still dancing around it, back when Boyd just couldn't help it. Raylan knew, they'd talked about all of it in bits and pieces over the years. 

Boyd didn't need to say his name like that to get him to notice, anymore. He didn't feel the need to hear it roll off his tongue just to remind himself of what they were to each other, and what they once had been. These days, he only did that, sometimes, because he knew it made Raylan's dick hard. 

"Well, let's go, then, old man," Raylan said, taking him by the wrist and pulling him out of the bedroom, into the bathroom down the hall. "If we're gonna be here more, we oughtta think about putting a master bath in."

"Shut up, darlin'," Boyd said, mildly. "Home improvement ain't sexy."

The bathroom was still steamy from Raylan's shower. When the door closed, Raylan let his towel fall to the floor before turning the water back on, while Boyd took his clothes off. Raylan watched him undress, eyes soft, and when he finished, went to him and pulled him close. 

"What's up with you today, honey?" Boyd asked. "You ain't normally so demonstrative."

"I don't know, Boyd. It's being here, I guess. In Arlo's house. You and me, our kid. You know? I know we've been here lots of times, but... it's still fucking amazing."

"Oh, Raylan," Boyd said, his voice sounding a little constricted. He kissed him and wrapped his arms tight around him. "I know. I do, I know."

"I almost lost you so many times," Raylan said, frowning intently at Boyd.

"You never even came close, darlin'. You were with me all the time. I love you so much, always have. Come on, now." He pulls gently at Raylans wrist as he climbs into the shower. Raylan followed, and Boyd fell to his knees in front of him. 

"Boyd, no," Raylan protested. "It's your birthday, you should get the blowjob. The first one, anyway."

"It's my birthday, and what I want most is your dick in my mouth, Raylan."

Raylan could find no argument to offer for that, so he let Boyd's hands come around his hips and guide him forward, pull him in and work at him with his lips, his tongue. 

He thought of the very first time Boyd did this for him, his face bruised and battered from a bad fight with his father, over who knows what. That was very beautiful, in it's way, but no more so than this. He pushed both hands into Boyd's hair, massaging his fingers into his skull. 

What Boyd loved were words, Raylan knew, and it was his day. He told him - not for the first or the last time - the story of that morning, letting him know how the whole thing felt like magic to him. The night before had barely seemed real, but when they were both still there in the morning, he'd been so relieved. 

"I knew everything would be okay then," he said, even though it was a ridiculous sentiment, and a stretch, to say the least.

Boyd laughed a little, despite his mouth being full. 

"Shut up," Raylan said softly, "I was right, wasn't I?" Boyd patted him on the thigh in acknowledgment. Everything is okay now. It just took awhile. "I'm gonna stop talkin' now, darlin'. Gonna come real soon. Gonna... oh shit, Boyd, I love you so much. _Fuck_ , so much." He started coming then, gripping Boyd's shoulder with one hand and leaning against the tiles with the other. 

Boyd stood up, and Raylan pulled him into his arms, kissing him, reaching for him. "How do you want it, baby?"

Boyd moaned low, and said, "Just your hand, for now. Later on tonight, I may be a bit more demanding."

Raylan leaned into him and kissed him, sliding his mouth down to Boyd's neck and pumping his cock steadily. Raylan was an expert on what Boyd wanted, by now, and it didn't take long. 

Boyd was chanting words of praise in his ear, which he surely didn't need at this point - he was relatively confident in his handjob skills after ten years together - but which he still loved to hear. Raylan was pretty sure they were mostly for Boyd's own benefit, anyway. He got off on talking about how good his man was, and that was alright with Raylan. 

He came with a grunt, and smiled into Raylan's hair. "Water's running cold," he said. "Let's get outta here."

They dried off and dressed quickly, then drove to Ava's house. She was out the door and giving them hugs before they were all the way out of the car. Kenny came out to greet them too, although he chose to hang back and lean against the door frame while he waited for her to finish. 

The hug she gave Boyd was long, and she seemed like she didn't want to let go. For all Raylan and Ava had generated a lot of heat between them at one time, Boyd was the one she'd really cared about. She'd loved him best, and still did. Raylan could see on his face that he was affected by it, and he was more sure than ever that moving here was the right thing to do.

Several handshakes and back-claps later - including for Andrew, who seemed to feel he was too old for a hug from his uncle now, though he'd still accepted one from Aunt Ava - they made their way inside. 

Kenny offered them beers, and Ava walked outside with Andrew to see what her kids were up to. They all went out to the patio in back and sat watching Ava get pulled into some sort of children's game that seemed to have a set of highly detailed yet nonsensical rules. 

"I try to stay out of that sort of thing," Kenny said, sipping his beer. 

"Smart man," Boyd replied, and Raylan nodded his agreement. "So what's new in Harlan?" Boyd asked, not quite succeeding in sounding casual about it.

"Well," Kenny said, not noticing the tone, or just not caring about why Boyd asked, "Ava's probably the one to ask. She tells me this shit, but I didn't grow up knowing these people like y'all did. I can't remember who's who half the time."

Boyd snorted. "You sound like Raylan. 'Cept, when he says it, he's lying through his damn teeth."

"I did hear one thing, though, I made a point of remembering," Kenny said, grinning. "I think you'll like this one."

Raylan was paying closer attention now, though doing his best to keep from being obvious about it. He was sure Boyd was not fooled. 

"Yeah, so," Kenny went on, "You know your old buddy Bennett got out of prison, right?"

Boyd grunted in agreement, and Raylan couldn't quite keep the sneer off his face. Goddamn, did he hate that little fucker. 

"He still walkin' around?" Raylan asked drily. "'Cause I'm tryin' to imagine what kind of Dickie Bennett news you think I'd like to hear about."

Boyd raised an eyebrow at him, but said nothing. 

"Yeah, he's walking around," Kenny said, "but I'm pretty sure he was lying down for a week or two, awhile back." It was obvious Kenny had been looking forward to telling this story. "Boyd, your cousin Johnny - you're not in touch with him, right?"

"Nope," Boyd said. "Not since I left Harlan, and not much for awhile before that, after I..." He paused for a moment, not really wanting to go into all the reasons Johnny might have for hating him. "After Raylan and I started seeing each other again," he finished.

"Well, despite that, Dickie must have felt that the family connection was enough that he could get some satisfaction from going into his bar and spouting off a bunch of ugly shit about you two. Or, well, mostly the truth, I guess, which to him were insults. Anyway, he used a nasty tone and some rough language."

Boyd sighed. "I can't imagine Johnny was very quick to leap to my defense."

Kenny's grin got bigger, and he said, "Well, that's where you'd be wrong. He beat the shit out of that boy."

"Well, of course he did. That ain't nothin' to do with me. Asshole was comin' into his place of business and runnin' his mouth."

Raylan his a smile behind his hand when he noticed how much thicker Boyd's accent had gotten in the past hour or so. He loved it. 

Kenny was shaking his head. "No, but after he hits him the first time, he says, 'I can see you ain't forgot that Boyd's my kin, and you should know that I ain't forgot it neither. You want to come in here talkin' shit about Crowders, you're gonna get your ass beat." 

Boyd smiled out of one side of his mouth and huffed a laugh. "Well... alright, then," he said quietly. 

Raylan got up and said he was going to see if he could help extricate Ava from the children's clutches. In fact, he wanted to ask a favor of her, but he didn't want to do it in front of Boyd.

He pulled her away and said, "Hey, I need to ask you something, honey. You think it would be okay if Andrew stays here tonight?"

"Well of course it would, Raylan. He's a good boy, he won't be no bother. You got something planned?" Ava asked.

"Maybe. But I ain't gonna share it with you, lady." Raylan was grinning, because he knew she'd start blushing. 

"Oh Raylan, shut up! Like I wanna hear about that. I just wondered if you were goin' out to dinner for his birthday or something." 

She was laughing, and Raylan knew she didn't really care, though one time when they were all drinking she had that the fact that she had been with both of them made it hard to keep certain images out of her head. He hoped she hadn't told that to her husband. Probably not, since Kenny still liked them.

"Well, matter of fact," Raylan said, "I'm thinking we might stop by Johnny's for a drink. You know Boyd and him were pretty tight, once, and Johnny's really the only kin he's got left. That still means something to him."

"Kenny told you what happened with Dickie?" She sounded a little worried.

"He did. And we all know that don't necessarily mean he's gonna welcome Boyd with open arms. And then there's me, of course. I wouldn't really care if Boyd wanted to see Johnny sometimes, without me hanging around, if that was the deal. But I don't see Boyd being okay with that."

Ava snorted and gave him an amused look. "Oh, and I suppose you'd be just fine hanging with someone who wouldn't have Boyd around."

"Well, no." Of course he wouldn't. 

"You two have a good time. Tell you what, you just take the day tomorrow too, do whatever you want, and come by for supper. We can eat, and then drink some, and you can sleep it off in the guest room."

Raylan grinned and put his arm around her waist. "What did I ever do to deserve you, Ava?" 

"Nothin'," she laughed. "You're just a lucky sonofabitch."

He gave her the smile he usually reserved for talking old ladies into giving him the whereabouts of their only sons, and she rolled her eyes at him, but he thought he caught a faint hint of a blush, high on her cheeks. He knew it wasn't fair, but sometimes it was fun. 

They finished their beers and chatted a bit, then said their goodbyes. Raylan thanked Ava again, and she brushed it off. "Consider it a birthday present," she said. We'll see y'all for dinner tomorrow."

Raylan was driving, and Boyd was mostly looking out the window. He had been pretty quiet since Kenny had told them the story about Johnny, and Raylan knew he had to have some mixed feelings about it. Raylan wasn't one to try to draw people out, generally figured that if someone wanted to talk about something, they eventually would. 

Still, this was Boyd. Being here in Harlan reminded him of all the times Boyd had done that for him, had pushed until Raylan had talked, had worked to draw all that poison out of him. He deserved at least a minimal effort.

Raylan laid a hand on Boyd's thigh and glanced over at him. 

"I was thinking," he said casually, "we never go anywhere but Ava's, the DQ, and Charlie's barbecue place when we're in Harlan. If we end up moving to Lexington-"

"Raylan, about that." Boyd was looking at him almost nervously. Raylan tilted his head and waited. "I know I said I wanted it, and I felt pretty certain of it, but I've been having second thoughts."

"Okay. You're allowed. This have anything to do with that thing about Dickie and Johnny?"

"Partly, but that ain't all. I don't know. We're happy where we are. Why fuck with that?"

Raylan nodded. "Let's just table it for now, alright? Listen, the main reason I asked Ava to take Andrew tonight is I thought maybe you and me could go out for some drinks."

"At Johnny's," Boyd said flatly. 

"Suppose we could go to Audrey's, but I wasn't in the mood for a pill head whore just now, so it seems like a waste." 

Boyd rolled his eyes and sighed. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Because, if we do end up moving to Kentucky, we're gonna be here. A lot. The man's your cousin, and it ain't right for you to keep away from him all the time. Besides, there ain't hardly anywhere around here to get a drink, and sometimes I don't just feel like sittin' home." 

Boyd sighed. "He won't like to hear about how things are with me now. He ain't gonna let me talk about you, or Andrew, or-"

"I know, Boyd," Raylan cut in. "That's why I want to go over there together. He can't deny what he sees in front of his fucking hillbilly face, can he?"

Boyd looked at him, smiling sweetly, and seemed to be a loss for words, for once in his goddamn life. 

"What?" Raylan asked. 

"Nothing," Boyd replied. "Just how things change so much, but mostly the change is inside your own head."

"Yeah, well, now the change needs to be in some other shitkicker's head. You up for that?"

Boyd grinned. "Who're you talking to, boy?" He shakes his head. "Alright. We'll go have a drink or two, if we're actually welcome in there. Then we come back here and take advantage of the empty house, you get me?"

"You're readin' my mind, darlin'." Raylan groped for Boyd's hand, found it, and raised it to his lips. "It's always weird for both of us, Boyd. Being here. You know that. It always takes us a couple days for it to start feeling normal again, so don't make any decisions today, okay?"

"Alright," Boyd replied. "Now I want to stock the kitchen before we go pickin' bar fights, Raylan."

They went to the Wal-Mart, which Boyd normally would have balked at, if they were home. The contempt he had grown up holding for the coal companies was easily transferrable to mega-corporations that exploited the cycle of poverty in a given region for cheap labor, and he was kind of a hardass about it.

Here was a different story, as they had very few alternatives, so he contented himself with muttering under his breath and shooting Raylan the death glare when he remarked on how cheap the TVs were as they passed the electronics aisle.

They bought enough for the week, though Boyd refused to buy the eggs there. "Old Jenny Coyne down the other end of the holler keeps chickens," he said, putting his hand over Raylan's wrist as he reached for them. "We can stop on the way home."

Raylan shrugged, and they turned around to head toward the checkout. Standing at the end of the detergent aisle, just across from the dairy case where they were, was Tammy Price, a girl they’d graduated with. She was staring at them, not in a hostile way, really. Just openly curious and tactless. She’d been gorgeous in high school -had gone on a few dates with Raylan, in fact - but she’d gotten fat and tired-looking, and was wearing a pink and grey track suit, stretched tight across her stomach. 

“Hey, Tammy,” Boyd said. “Ain’t seen you in a long time.” 

He smiled at her, but she just raised her eyebrows and said, “Boyd Crowder and Raylan Givens. Y'all here for the gay pride parade?"

Raylan rolled his eyes and said, "Good one."

Tammy rolled her eyes and said, "Fuck you, Raylan."

"Why so hostile, Tammy? We're just buying groceries," Raylan replied, crossing his arms in front of himself. "What's new with you? You got kids?"

"I got three, and a worthless ex-husband who don't send me my child support. I work here, by the way, but it's my day off. You happy now? You want to tell me about how fucking great things are going with you wherever the hell it is you're living now?"

"Jesus, Tammy," Raylan started, but Boyd touched him surreptitiously on the back, and he shut up. Raylan had found that Boyd usually knew when he should shut up. 

Boyd smiled at Tammy and said, "Things are alright with us, but ain't nobody's life perfect, girl, you know that. We're out at Raylan's daddy's old place, I'm sure you know where that is. Stop on out if you feel like it, we're there all week with our son Andrew. He's ten."

Raylan raised a hand at her, in farewell and possibly as a gesture of truce, and they headed towards the self-checkout. 

Boyd started scanning things while Raylan bagged, and he said, "You know why she was such a bitch, don't you?"

"Well, yes, Boyd. I did manage to put it together that she may not be entirely satisfied with the way things turned out for her. That's gonna be a fair amount of people we run into. We supposed to take shit from all of them just because their lives suck?"

"Raylan, I ain't suggesting we take shit from anyone. But I would ask you to dial back the defensive posture, when appropriate. Some dickhead starts insulting or threatening us? You do your thing. Sad, tore-up single mothers you used to date? I think you could maybe take the high road, darlin'."

Raylan inclined his head slightly in assent, and they finished checking out. They head home, stopping for the eggs on the way, and by the time they got everything unpacked, it was starting to get dark. 

Raylan brought two burgers out to the back porch to grill, and Boyd set up their rolls the way they like. Raylan took mayo, which had always made Boyd slightly nauseous, but he spread it on there anyway, and sliced up a dill pickle for it. Boyd took mustard and a slice of onion, which in his opinion was a much more manly way to eat a goddamn burger. 

He brought their plates and two beers out back. He handed Raylan his bottle, and they drank as the meat cooked.

When they had eaten their dinner and finished off a couple of beers each, Raylan reached across the table to stroke the top of Boyd's hand. He said, "We should go."

Boyd looked at him almost desperately. "I don't know, Raylan," he said. 

"Well, I do. This time, I know what we should do. I almost always listen to you, but I ain't doing it this time, not about this." Raylan took Boyd's hand in his and squeezed it. 

Boyd opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it and smiled sadly. He nodded, stood up, and brought his plate into the kitchen. Raylan did the same, and they left the house. 

Boyd drove, silent and tense, towards Johnny's. Raylan watched him for a little while, then said, “Would you feel better doing this on your own?”

Boyd took his eyes off the road long enough to stare at him like he was crazy. “You really think this would be easier for me by myself? What the hell is wrong with you, boy?”

“You know me, Boyd.” Raylan didn’t elaborate, because Boyd did know him very well. In Boyd's shoes, Raylan would have wanted to handle it on his own, for better or worse. “I’m glad you want me there, though.”

They pulled up in the dirt lot outside Johnny's and sat there for a minute.

"I can't believe how nervous I am about this. This is worse than when we came down for Ava's wedding," Boyd said, grimacing. 

"No it ain't. And you know it. That was fucking terrifying. This is just a little weird. It's just Johnny. He's your kin, like he said."

"And Arlo was yours. What's your point?"

Raylan sighed. He knew Boyd must be pretty agitated to say something like that, so he didn't respond. After thirty seconds or so, Boyd gave him the look that meant he knew he'd been an asshole and he was sorry, but not in the mood to apologize just yet. Raylan squeezed his hand, and they got out. 

They walked into the dark bar. It was pretty busy on a Friday night, and most people didn't pay any attention to who was walking in. Raylan only recognized a few faces, and couldn't put a name to any of them. He was sure that Boyd could, though, and those who did turn to glance at them mostly ended up staring. 

There were a few murmurs that sounded like "Boyd Crowder," and "Givens," and "the Marshal," but as far as he could hear, no name-calling yet. 

Johnny was watching their approach with a neutral expression, and when they reached the bar, he said, "Don't get too many out-of-towners in here. You ain't lost, are you?" 

Raylan didn't say a word, figured this was Boyd's deal. Boyd blinked at Johnny for a second, as if trying to process what he'd said, and then gave a short, surprised laugh. Johnny glanced at Raylan, scowled, then held out his hand to Boyd. 

"Johnny," he said, shaking his hand, "it's been too long, cousin."

"That ain't exactly my fault, is it?" Johnny said. He still hadn't cracked a smile, and just about everyone in the bar was watching the interaction. 

"No," Boyd said, "but I can't put all the blame on my own shoulders neither, nor on Raylan's. It's just the way things worked out."

Johnny's eyes had flicked over to Raylan at the mention of his name. Now he leaned in and said, "Boyd, you're my cousin, and you're welcome here if you can stand bein' stared at until people get used to you. But him - being a lawman, and a faggot, and not kin - he don't belong. You hear me?"

"Oh, I hear you, cousin," Boyd said. "It's true, he's a lawman, but he ain't here to stick his nose in your business. And you could call him that other thing as well, and I'll leave it to him whether he wants to take issue with the name-calling, but if you say it to me in that tone again, I'll beat your ass into the ground. As for not being kin, well, you know that ain't true. He ain't blood, but he's family."

"I don't hold with that," Johnny said.

"I don't give a shit what you hold with. It's done. And if he ain't welcome, then neither am I. Tell us to leave if you want. We won't be back."

Johnny glared at Boyd, started to say something, then stopped himself. He turned stiffly toward Raylan and said, "What'll you have, Givens?"

Not missing a beat, Raylan slid onto a barstool and said, "Jimmy, little bit of ice." Johnny poured and pushed the glass across to him. Raylan thanked him, but he didn't respond, just poured the same for Boyd.

"I don't take ice, Johnny," Boyd said, looking at him with mild surprise.

Johnny snorted and replied, "Shit, I figured since you're dressing like fuckin' twins these days, maybe you're drinking that way too."

Raylan smiled down into his drink, and Boyd huffed a laugh. "That's alright, I'll take it," he said, draining half of the glass in one pull. 

Johnny looked up into the bar and yelled, "Ain't gonna be no fights or nothing, so you might as well tend to y'own business now." He looked at the two of them and said, "What are you doing here, anyway? Been years since you started coming to Harlan, and I ain't seen a glimpse of you."

Raylan spoke up, saying, "We heard you beat the shit out of Dickie Bennett. That's as good a reason as I could possibly think of."

Johnny sneered and said, "That little fucker's got some goddamn nerve, I'll say that for him. He won't be coming around here again."

"You know," Raylan said, "You'd think that. But he seems to be a glutton for punishment. I'd lay money he's gonna come up with some foolproof plan to fuck you over somehow, and he's gonna need to be taught the same lesson again."

Johnny laughed harshly and said, "Guess you'd know."

Boyd said, "That's part of the reason we're here, but not all. There's a possibility we might be coming back to Kentucky. Not living in Harlan, but we'd be here more."

"You'd be in Lexington," Johnny said, in what was really not a question. 

Raylan nodded. "I ain't gonna be looking for trouble that don't come to my doorstep, Johnny."

"You think that's wise?" he asked, and Raylan thought it was a fair question. He shrugged, finished his drink and held up the empty glass. Johnny poured him another and said, "Do they know who your... who Boyd is?"

"Boyd is a landscaping expert," Raylan said, smirking a little. "But they know his family name, if that's what you're asking. They were around when all that... shit went down, back then. They're not crazy about it, but I think they're well-enough convinced by now that he's been domesticated."

Boyd laughed and said, "Real fuckin' nice, Raylan. You trying to goad me into starting a bar brawl or something?"

Smiling, Raylan said, "Go ahead. You'll have to explain to the kid about your face tomorrow."

"I'll tell him you did it," Boyd said, grinning.

"The two of you don't cut that shit out right now, I'll mess up both your faces. Jesus Christ. Ain't you been together too long to still be flirting?"

Boyd's grin got bigger and he said, "Oscar Wilde said flirting with your husband was like washing your clean linen in public."

"Yeah," Johnny growled, "and quoting Oscar Wilde will also get you uninvited. Tone it the fuck down, would you?"

Raylan wondered what would happen if he grabbed Boyd and have him a big, Hollywood-style kiss right then. The thought made him laugh out loud, which made Johnny frown at him some more. 

"Yeah," Raylan said to Boyd, "tone it down, man. Someone might start to suspect."

Boyd laughed, and Johnny said, "And that don't bother you?" He sounded genuinely curious, though skeptical.

Boyd frowned and shrugged. "It used to, quite a bit. But not for a long time. Not since I stopped hating it myself."

Raylan smiled at that, and his hand itched to rub at Boyd's thigh. He contented himself with clinking their glasses together, then throwing back the rest of his whiskey. 

"You about ready, Boyd?" he asked.

"Think so," Boyd replied, finishing his drink. 

Raylan stood and held out his hand to Johnny. Johnny hesitated for a moment, then took it in an overly agressive grip. Johnny and Boyd shook hands too, and Boyd risked a clap on the shoulder as well. They walked out among murmurs, softer than the ones they'd heard when they arrived. 

"That went well," Raylan said when they were in the parking lot.

"You can gloat if you want, baby," Boyd said, brushing their shoulders together. "Lord knows I've done enough of that over the years. You deserve one."

Raylan just smiled peacefully, and walked with him around to the driver's side. After Boyd opened the door, Raylan leaned in and kissed him quickly on the lips. Boyd widened his eyes and laughed. "You tryin' to get us banned already?"

"Maybe I'm trying to force the issue a little," he admitted. "I ain't used to all the bowing and scraping anymore, you know?"

"I know, Raylan, but try to be a little patient, alright?"

"For you, I will," he said. 

They drove home with the windows open, but Raylan didn't mind it so much at night. The hills smelled just like they always had, and the night sounds were the same too. 

They were coming up on the small lake they used to swim in, where they'd gone the first time, and where they'd returned to many years later. It was also the place where Raylan had come close to dying. Raylan couldn't remember Boyd finding him there, but he did remember how it felt to wake up in the hospital, knowing that he had. 

He was about to ask Boyd if he wanted to stop there for a bit, but Boyd was already slowing, looking for the tiny dirt road that led in through the trees. Raylan smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. They pulled in as close to the water as they could, and got out. 

"Too bad we don't have your truck with us," Raylan said. 

"We don't need it," Boyd replied. You got an emergency blanket in the trunk, don't you?"

Raylan raised his eyebrows and popped the trunk. There was a blanket there, though it wasn't going to be much protection from the hard, rocky ground. He pulled it out anyway and spread it on the smoothest piece of ground he could find. 

"It's your birthday, darlin'. What would you like me to do for you?"

Boyd sat down on the blanket and reached up. Raylan knelt down and pushed him gently to the ground, sinking into him and cradling his head with his arm. 

"What are my options, Raylan?"

Raylan chuckled into his lips and said, "You don't know by now? If there's something I've missed, feel free to bring it to my attention."

"I just want to hear you tell me, that's all," he said, sighing. 

"Alright," Raylan agreed, though he felt a little weird about it. But it was Boyd's birthday, so he said, "Well... I could suck you off, or I could jerk you off. I could fuck you, or you could fuck me." 

Boyd was getting hard underneath him as he spoke, and Raylan started moving on him a little, kissing him in between options. He continues, "I could put my hand up inside you and try to make you come like that. We could... uh... do it college-style." Boyd laughed at that, low and dirty. "Or you could tie me up and jerk yourself off all over my face."

Boyd groaned and rocked his hips up into Raylan's. "Ain't got no rope."

Raylan grinned. "I got a pair of handcuffs." He rolled off of Boyd and jogged over to the car. He reached into the trunk and dug around a bit, coming up with a pair of spare cuffs. 

He tossed the cuffs to Boyd and said, "Just don't lose the key. I don't want to have to explain to Shannon what happened to my government-issue handcuffs."

"That's alright, Raylan," Boyd said, pulling his hands behind his back, quite professionally. "Just tell 'em, 'Boyd Crowder was holding me captive. I was helpless against him.'"

"I guess I'd have to," Raylan responded, feeling Boyd's cool, slender fingers clicking home the bracelets. "I'd have to admit that you had your way with me. That you held me down... and... wouldn't let me move until you got off."

Raylan's dick felt like it was going to bust through his jeans. He fell to his knees and said, "What do you want from me, Boyd?"

Boyd's mouth hung slightly open, his eyes were dark with lust, and he pushed Raylan off his knees and onto his back. His hands pulled uncomfortably at the cuffs, but he said nothing. He knelt over him, straddling his hips, and unzipped his jeans. 

He stroked himself, not once taking his eyes from Raylan. He said, "They all knew what a dangerous man I was, Raylan. Everyone knew that, 'cept you. You never believed it. Why is that?"

"Because..." Raylan gasped as Boyd settled his weight onto his lap. "I knew you."

"Then you're an idiot," he said, pumping faster.

"Ain't that just another word for a man in love?" Raylan asked. 

Boyd says nothing, but his hand starts moving at a brutal speed, and he leans forward, bracing himself on the ground above Raylan's head. His come shoots warm and wet onto Raylan's chin, and lips, and cheek. 

Raylan licks his lips and accepts a kiss from Boyd before asking to be unbound. 

"Aright, baby," Boyd said, unlocking the cuffs. "Now get yourself off for me, so I can watch."

Sitting on the hard ground, Raylan pushed his pants down below his hips and took his hard cock into his hand. Boyd came around behind him and reached a hand under the front of his shirt, sliding his fingernails up Raylan's chest and teasing his nipples. He lowered his head to kiss and bite at the warm, soft spot just below his jaw. 

Raylan pushed his body back into Boyd, and Boyd supported him, bracing himself on an outstretched arm. Raylan's head was thrown back, and he whispered to Boyd, begging him for his hand. "I want you to do it for me, please. It's so much better when you do it."

He pulled at Boyd's hand, guiding it downward, and Boyd laughed softly in his ear. "As you please, darlin'." He wrapped his fingers around him and took over. Raylan pressed his head back into Boyd's collarbone, arched his hips and came almost right away. 

Boyd let himself fall onto his back, pulling Raylan with him. Raylan rolled off to the side and onto his stomach, putting a hand on Boyd's chest. "Happy birthday, Boyd."

"Why thank you, Raylan. It's turned out to be a pretty good one."

"Can we go home and take showers now, maybe watch a little TV? We got that breakfast with Rachel tomorrow, I don't want to oversleep."

Boyd laughed. "And you called me domesticated," he said. "You want to fold some laundry too?"

"Shut up. You love it." Raylan kissed him, then stood up. 

Raylan drove them back to the house, but he left the car windows open, and he didn't even argue when Boyd put Ralph Stanley on the CD player.


End file.
